dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
