You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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