My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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