apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
