Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
