dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
soo... how was my night?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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