Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
