JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
