So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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