We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
