Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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