forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
