I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
