member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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