I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
