What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
