No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
