You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I need water and some morals
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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