Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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