youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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