even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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