screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
