I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
