He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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