you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
