I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
