Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
