D3 body, D1 cock
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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