I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
