this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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