doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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