I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
