I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
