There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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