i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
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He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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