Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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