come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
