Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Do you still have your period?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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