I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
