sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
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Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
