It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
