we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
