I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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