Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize