Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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