Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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