I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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