She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
