nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
