just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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