Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
