I got chris browned last night
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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