The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Fuck appropriateness.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
