Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize