they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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