I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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