I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
