Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
