I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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