i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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