dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
